I’m not here to promise you that all your dreams will come true.
I’m not here to promise you that you’ll be that super confident, super attractive, super rich, super famous, super funny, or super anything.
And I’m not here to guarantee anything. What you want out of life? Who knows if you’ll get it. Who do you want to be? It’s hard to think about it when you’re living the life of who you don’t want to be.
Maybe, in the end, it doesn’t even matter.
Life can get pretty nasty. Some people go through unfair situations and develop certain mentalities. Some people fail miserably after risking everything and develop certain beliefs about life.
Negative and dark mentalities and beliefs, to be exact.
The self-help notions advocate against giving up to those dark ideas about life. However, you and I know how justifiable and believable those dark ideas feel. At the current moment at least.
You can reach a point in your life where you feel like giving up on everything. You feel like giving up on yourself. Because no matter what you do, you never manage to make it right.
You never manage to keep your promises; you go back to the same old bad habits over again. You never manage to hit the target no matter how many shots you take. You’re never who you want to be or how you want to be.
That’s a beat up attitude and you know that. But you can’t help but give in to it. It feels so true and so strong that you can’t believe in anything else.
It’s a state of deep depression. And all you want to do is to just fall flat on your back and give up the fight. After all, what did that fight ever give you but shocks and wounds?
I’ve been there. I’m there right now (by the time I’m writing this). Laying flat on my back wondering if I ever got the power to get up again. And I know that I’m not alone.
Is It The End?
At 10 years old, he decided to end his life. In his own home. He wanted to drown himself in the bathtub and put an end to his misery.
He told no one. After all, no one can understand the bullying he used to face every day. No one can be in his shoes and feel his pain. No one can explain to him why he was the way he was.
There was no reason for him to keep fighting. He believed that he had all the reasons in the world to give up. To give up on himself and to give up on everything.
He came that day from the school deciding that it’s going to be the last day in his life. He told his father that he was going to take a shower and relax in the bathtub.
He didn’t want to relax; he wanted to end his life. That was a declaration of giving up. By ending his life, he’s telling the world that he had given up on himself and on everything.
As painful as it was, it was not more painful than the current pain that he was feeling.
So, he went to the bathroom to do what he had planned. He got his head under the water, counting the seconds and the minutes while watching his life slips away from him just as he planned.
I presume he felt relief at those moments, but just for milliseconds. Because after those milliseconds, he had, while his head was down the water, a thought that made him think twice about what he was doing.
He pictured, as he described it later, his family crying and grieving over his grave. He saw his mother, his father, and his brother crying over his grave. And that was it; it was enough motivation for him to get his head out of the water and take another breath.
“What’s worse than having a disabled child? A disabled child who gives up.” He describes why he decided to not kill himself at that moment.
He was disabled and those who care about him already got it hard. Why make it harder for them by killing himself?
In fact, he wasn’t just disabled. It was worse than that.
He was born with a rare condition that made him disabled. He was born limbless; he was born with no arms and no feet.
He used to get bullied in the school for that. He felt that he was different in a bad way. And he couldn’t do the normal things that the kids his age used to do.
And the future for him was dark and unknown. Will he ever manage to lead a normal life, let alone a happy life? Can he work? Will he get married? How is he going to be able to hold his wife’s hand or hug his first child?
It was difficult and very depressing. After all, he didn’t choose to be this way.
He almost gave up on himself. But at the last moment, he backed off and pulled himself up. Up of the water and up of the depression that he was experiencing.
Nowadays, Nick Vujicic is not only a role model for a lot of people but also he’s happily married and a proud father.
He gives speeches where he gives people hope. Telling people who are going through tough times that if he can do it, they can do it too. Regardless of how difficult the situations are.
He chose to not give up; he chose to believe.
Watch him tell his story:
There are many and many people who faced adversity and serious setbacks in their lives but didn’t give up on themselves. Nick is just an example.
Nick said that what turned him in was the idea of causing pain to his family. Also, he said that he found power and meaning in connecting with God and having faith. He said that he was born this way for a reason, probably to inspire other people and to be a miracle in someone else’s life.
“I have a pair of shoe in my closet. Why? I’ve seen blind people see and deaf people hear. It’s fine if you don’t believe me, I’ve got it on camera But I realized something. If God doesn’t change my circumstances, he’s going to use my life to be a miracle for someone else. When you don’t get a miracle, you can still be a miracle for someone else.” -Nick Vujicic
Finally, he doesn’t push his own reasons on anybody. He says that you need to find your own strength in whatever you find it in.
I agree wholeheartedly.
Find that one thing that will keep you going. Find that one thing that will give you strength when you’re weak. And when you want to give up on yourself, remind yourself of that thing.
It could be your family. It could be your faith and spirituality. It could be those who you care about the most. It could be the idea of inspiring someone else.
Whatever it is, let it help pick you up when you’re about to give up on yourself.
To me personally, it’s the faith in God. The idea of believing in something that is bigger than anything in the world and that has control over everything makes me feel relieved.
Find your own strength and let it guide you. Let it pick you up when giving up on yourself seems the best option.
And don’t tell me that you can’t find it. If a guy like Nick can keep going and not give up on himself, so can you.
The worst mistake you can ever make in your life is giving up on yourself.
You are responsible for your life and thus you always have a choice.
Muster up some strength and go out there and do something. In fact, the act of doing something when all you want to do is to give up is a declaration that you’ve chosen to not give up on yourself.
Finally, I’m not here to promise you that you are going to make it. I’m not here to promise you that your life is going to be rosy and beautiful. It can, but I can’t guarantee you that; I’m not in control of that.
But I can promise you two things.
One, if you gave up on yourself your life is going to be even more painful. To you and to those who care about you. Two, there is hope. Even if you don’t feel like there is. Many people reached the lowest point of their life only to bounce back even higher than they’ve ever reached before.
Get up. Dust off. Do something. And never ever lose faith in yourself, you are all that you have got.
(Note: I’ve gone wild! This site is about self-image related issues. This could be a little bit off topic. But still, it can help those who want to give up on themselves because of self-esteem related reasons. Either way, this is for all who want to give up on themselves, for whatever reason, but especially for self-esteem related reasons.)