Book #8: Insecure In Love

In the book Attached, which is based on attachment theory, it was said that there are 4 types of people in relationships (or depending on their attachment type):

  • The anxious type.
  • The avoidant type.
  • The anxious-avoidant type.
  • The secure type.

Those types are explained in that book in details. I also explained them, and how they interact with each other, in details when I reviewed the book Attached.

This book, Insecure in Love, talks about attachment theory in general but it specifically focuses on the anxious type. The author of this book is a licensed psychologist, author, and speaker. She also writes The Art of Relationships blog for WebMD.

The anxious type wants too much closeness in relationships. At the same time, they have a negative self-image. And to make things worse, they have positive image of the people around them. That means they look up at the people they date and they look down at their own selves.

That’s a recipe for disaster.

They usually end up with the avoidant types, which are a bunch of aloof jerks who want an intimate relationship without some actual intimacy!

I didn’t read the entire book. I loved the idea of raising awareness about this type and helping them have better relationships.

The anxious type usually has a negative self-image. They have low self-esteem. The purpose of my writing is to help people have a healthy amount of self-esteem and become more confident. So, it makes sense to recommend this book to those people in order to help them overcome the negative self-image.

What I like about this book is its non-stigmatizing style. I have said it over and over and I will say it again. There is no shame in having low self-esteem. It was the way you were brought up. You are not to be blamed for having low self-esteem. But you are to be held responsible for changing it. And, again, don’t allow anyone to stigmatize you because you have low self-esteem, not even yourself.

This book will help you with self-esteem as it talks about how you end up without it and how to see yourself in a positive light. Also, it’ll help you a lot with romantic relationships as they are a source of frustration for many.

There are some tips. There are some stories. There are some “paradigm shifts”. Just open your heart and mind and soul to this book and it can help you be in a better place emotionally.

I’ve recommended some dating books for men. I recommended them for the same reason I’m recommending this one: they can help you with self-esteem. And now this book is recommended for both men and women. But I believe it will help the ladies more, especially the ones in abusive relationships.

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