This site contains a lot of informative articles.
I do my best to offer solutions, based on facts, for the poor self-image issue.
However, sometimes we need something personal that gets people to relate instead of only lecturing them.
This is why I wrote this article.
I want to share a thought about the idea of dealing with a poor self-image. An idea that will help you as you fight your way through a negative self-image to a healthy one.
You might get all the knowledge that you need. But it won’t ever work if you don’t internalize this very important belief, and that is:
You’re not alone.
You might think that this is simple. And it is, to some extent.
You Are Not Alone, I’m Here With You
I want you to try something.
Write down some of the problems that you’re facing in your life right now. Also, write down some of the flaws that you believe you have.
Not pleasant, I know. But do it anyway, you’ll see why in seconds.
Usually, those problems are related to your self-image (how you see yourself or how you judge yourself).
After that I want you to go and Google that; go and google your problems.
You’ll come across articles that offer solutions. You’ll also come across many forums where people are complaining about these problems and seeking help.
But don’t stop there.
Go to Quora, the famous Q&A site, and search for what you consider problems and flaws.
You’ll be amazed by how many people are actually asking the same question you’re asking. You’ll be amazed by the number of the people suffering from the same problems.
No, don’t stop here yet.
Go to Reddit, the biggest online forum, and do the same. You’ll even find subreddits specially created for people who are just like you; suffering from the same issues, problems, and flaws.
It’s not the end yet.
Go to YouTube and do the same exact thing. You’ll usually find videos that offer solutions. Ignore the solution for now; it’s not what we’re after.
Read the comments below those videos. See how people are discussing what you’ve believed to be your own personal flaws, issues, and unique problems.
What all this tells you is that your problems are not unique. You’re not the only one who is suffering from your problems, even if it feels as though.
Knowing that you’re not alone can be great, but it won’t solve your problems. It’ll just let you face them with less shame and fewer feelings of inadequacy.
People Are Not Super-Humans
Making the fatal mistake of putting people on a pedestal is going to ruin your self-esteem.
And by putting them on a pedestal I mean assuming that they have powers that no other human has. Namely, other humans such as you!
Powers such as the ability to never feel down, the ability to be cool all the time, the ability to never feel insecure or small some of the time, the ability to never screw up, and the ability to be strong and unbreakable all the time.
By looking deeper, and by doing the above experiment, you can quickly realize that this couldn’t be further from the truth.
People do feel insecure sometimes. People say horrible things, believe in horrible things, and even do horrible things sometimes. Things that they are probably not proud of (unless they’re psychopaths).
They just don’t talk about them much. People don’t want to appear bad, so they don’t share those dark sides that much.
Who wants to talk about their insecurities or their emotional wounds or their messy personality traits?
In fact, most people do their best to hide these things. Many people hide even their bad moods from others, pretending that they’re happy while they’re not.
And this, while well intended, causes us to feel isolated and that it’s only us who are suffering. It feels as though people are better than us because they don’t seem to have our problems.
They do, trust me. And if they don’t have your exact problems, they have other problems that are making them feel the same.
People are not super-humans. They have their own insecurities, down times, they feel bad, they have problems, they have things they’re not proud of. And, no, they can’t fly and most probably they don’t have a sword somewhere in their closet.
The internet allowed people to be anonymous while posting. And this helped people share these insecurities by asking and discussing online. What we discussed above.
Consciously remind yourself of this fact. It’s going to help you deal with people better while maintaining a healthy self-image. Also, it’ll remind you that you’re not alone.
What About Improvement?
The purpose of this article is to make you realize that your problems are global and a lot of people also suffer from them.
Realizing this fact will help a lot. It’ll help destroy the harsh feelings of shame that follow when you realize that you’re different in a bad way from others.
This is the main purpose.
But while realizing that you’re not alone is helpful, it’s not enough at all.
It won’t make your problems go away. It won’t help you fix you flaws. It won’t make you any better than you already are.
And no, it’s not here to use it as an excuse to accept your problems and flaws and live with them.
It’s here just to destroy the feelings of shame. The feelings of shame will stop you from improving and fixing what you believe is wrong.
Thus, it’s here to help you move forward and improve and fix whatever that is broken.
Because when you feel like it’s only you and that you’re uniquely flawed, hardly will you pick yourself up and do something about it. You’ll feel destroyed. The feeling of shame and being flawed and unworthy will weigh you down.
So, don’t use the “I’m not alone” as an excuse to stay the same. You know, everybody does this, so why bother? If that’s how you’re willing to use it, then you’ve totally misunderstood this article and wasted 5 minutes of your life.
Realize that you are not alone. But always keep working on solving your problems. Always keep improving. Always keep fighting for a better life.
Whenever the creepy feeling that something is wrong with you creeps in, remind yourself of this article. That creepy feeling can kill any chance you have to improve and also destroy your self-image and self-esteem.
The truth is that you’re not alone. We all suffer from various of psychological, mental issues. Poor self-image included. You’re not alone in this one.
Work on this but never feel ashamed or inadequate. It’s not an excuse to stay down; it’s one of the things that will help you climb up and not give up on yourself.
Remember this. And remember the words of Helen Keller, “Although the world is full of suffering, it’s also full of overcoming it.” You, too, can overcome whatever you’re facing. You’re not the first one who suffers from it and you won’t be the last one. Don’t let shame make you feel like you’re flawed and will forever be flawed.
Climb your way to the top along with those who are climbing with you. Get pushed by those behind of you, pulled by those ahead of you, and inspired by the courage of those beside you. (Credit for this quote goes to coach Jeff Cavaliere).
- I thought it was just me (but it isn’t) by Brene Brown.