Should you love your flaws and accept them?
Or should you work hard on changing them?
First of all, what I mean by the word flaws is the following:
“What you don’t like about yourself. Your shortcomings and insecurities and issues. Whether it’s about your personality, your living conditions, or even your physical looks.”
Those flaws can be real or imaginary.
In either case, they will threaten your self-esteem unless you deal with them in a healthy way. So many people want to become better but they are paralyzed by the fact that there will always be flaws.
Whenever someone asks the question, “how to change your life?”, they get a list of tips and tools to apply.
That’s not always helpful.
Let’s do something different in this article to answer this question in a better, and a simpler, way.
Let’s pretend for a while that self-improvement is like magic.
And to use this ‘magic’, we need a wand.
A wand that you can wave and watch the magic happen before your eyes. A wand that changes everything, from your self-confidence to the actual results you yearn to see in your life.
After World War II, Japan was utterly destroyed.
You don’t get hit by 2 nuclear bombs and stay optimistic and strong after that. Military, economically, emotionally, and psychologically, they were suffering.
In 1955, a young woman called Rosa Park made a very bold move. She was told to give up her seat to a white passenger. She was black and white people could make a black person stand up or go to the back of the bus to take their seat. But she said no boldly and courageously.
Those are seemingly two irrelevant events.
“Stop trying to control everything and let the chips fall where they may”
We, humans, are smart, to some extent.
But we’re weird. Like, really weird.
We often try to be something that we’re not.
For instance, fortune telling is impossible. We all know that.
Let’s do something fun. But scary at the same time.
Fun because of the possibility of hearing interesting stories. Scary because of how horrifying, and relatable, those interesting stories might be.
Let’s grab the hands of some adults and bring them back to childhood. To their childhood. We want to get them to remember some of their childhood to answer one question.
Let’s get the parents, too. Let’s get the old friends. The new friends. The important people in those adult’s lives. Their closest friends. The person reading this article on the internet right now.
Going from “I hate myself” to “I don’t hate myself” is an important journey.
It’s important because it’s mostly about raising your self-esteem and working on self-love.
A lot has been written about self-love and self-acceptance and how to get there. But let’s, in this article, explore the other world of self-hatred so we can understand it better.
I came across an online forum where someone had asked, “How can I raise my self-esteem?”
This person had many questions in mind while asking this question.
He is probably wondering why on earth he ended up having a low self-esteem. He is wondering how he can have a high self-esteem. And maybe, just maybe, he has a little voice in his head wondering if he actually can have a high self-esteem after all the bad things he knows about himself.
Before You Read This Article
This is not the type of article in which I will tell you, “Fuck your family!! They are a bunch of crazy fucking people!!!”
And, equally, this is not the type of article where I will tell you to “just forgive them” and be their slave and pet.
I understand that, as Tolstoy pointed out, every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way. Your hatred towards your family can be different than the person next to you. Therefore, don’t expect to find one solution for all the family problems.
Life is a Toilet It’s full of shit (a.k.a, flaws). But technically, we are the ones who fill it with our shit and thus we are full of shit as well. So, don’t hate yourself, or the world, if you…
Shame storms are shitty.
There is a creepy feeling of unworthiness that attacks you when you screw up or do something wrong.
You start looking down at yourself. You feel as if you have betrayed yourself. You feel that you don’t deserve any of the things you want.
This feeling can be intense enough to be believed. Its message is, “You are bad and you are hopeless. Nobody ever is going to think you are good. You can’t be good after all this.”
I’m not a big fan of watching movies.
It’s not that I hate them. I just watch movies less than the average individual for reasons that are still unknown.
Recently, I have sat down to watch Spider-man Homecoming. It was just for entertainment. I was not expecting to find something deep in it.
But it turned out that I was wrong. Inside the movie lies one of the secrets of self-respect and the antidote to neediness.