1. Not Asking For Help
When it comes to self-development, there is a lot to be said about the “lone wolf” mentality. Or the “being independent” attitude.
But it all comes down to this: you are strong and you can do it on your own. You don’t need anybody’s help (even, or especially, those who care about you). In fact, needing someone’s help means that you are weak.
And that is garbage. This is a claim that I can support, in fact.
Have you ever looked into the mirror, saw a strange face, and whispered to yourself, “I feel nothing”?
It was like you weren’t happy or sad.
You weren’t depressed or excited, and sure you weren’t miserable or satisfied. You just felt nothing.
You look at all the people who complain about their emotions and how miserable they are. And you wonder what’s wrong with those people.
And you look at those who describe their emotions as euphoric feelings and you have no clue how that feels like.
Let’s first state the fact that all of us have our own emotional problems. That is, all of us are little crazy to some extent.
None of us is an exception.
Some suffer more than others. Some manage to cope with their problems in a good way.
The goal is not to totally eliminate our emotional problems; the goal is to handle them in a healthier way.
That said, I’ve seen that there are unhealthy patterns which will make you crazier and more neurotic. Patterns that are unhealthy for your emotional health.
You can’t get your mind to believe in something without offering it some evidence first.
I’m not even going to go into the fact that affirmations can be bad for you. In terms of developing a healthy self-esteem, affirmations can do more harm than good.
Your mind a) already has a specific belief about who you are. b) has evidence (real or imaginary) to support this.
And the process of challenging those evidence-based-beliefs includes more than repeating positive beliefs and words.
Your mind will hardly believe in positive affirmations because a) it already has opposing, conflicting beliefs. b) it has nothing to prove it. It will consider them as lies and, as a result, it will make you feel worse about yourself.
Not only are you a piece of shit. You are a liar, too.
To induce real change, you need actions. Real actions that can be considered as evidence to support the healthy beliefs you want to have about yourself.